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Good feminine intentions
- Who is playing offside today?
- It is not a position my dear, nobody is actually playing it.
- So this player was really good because he got it?
- No, it is not good, we talked about this at home, remember? If the cookie jar receives the ball higher than brown sauce, it is a free kick to the other team.
- Oh, okay then. Go on Palace! We are the red ones, arenít we?
- Come on babe, you know we even have this ďred and blue armyĒ -flag in our kitchen.
- Iím just checking I donít cheer at wrong time. Itís lovely how colourful it is here at the stadium. And look at that little kid, he is singing and holding his dear scarf, so cute. Oh, I got to call Mindy.
- Come on, itís a game on here.
- Hi babes, Iím in a football gameÖCrystal Palace against something... Yeah itís greatÖ could we go shopping tomorrow? Oh my God, somebody just got kicked, Iíll call you back later.
- You cheat! You are useless peace of crap! (He shouts to the pitch)
- Stop it! (She looks around bit embarrassed of him)
- Booo!! (The whole stadium boos)
- Ohh, I hope he didnít get hurt, why did this other player kick him like that, that is so mean.
- Come on that was a clean tackle.
- I donít like that player, he is too aggressive. I like the smaller one, they shouldnít push him like that. And why are all these people booing at him? So cruel.
- He is a diver, he cheats because he canít handle the menís game. (He says bit heated because Palace player gets a yellow card)
- You all have too much testosterone. Can he keep the card?
- No, you donít actually get to keep the card, they just show it to youÖ Why am I even doing this. You know, Iíd really like to just watch the game, it sort of ruins the atmosphere to try to explain it to you all the time.
- I was just asking, no need to take it on me. (She is bit upset and decides to call Mindy back)
- NoÖitís still love-loveÖoh okay, nil-nil thenÖ Which oneÖ ItalianÖ There, wow, he is well fit, thanks for the tip, Iíll call you later.
- That is so girly. You only come to look men, you donít care about the game.
- That is so unfair, I like watching football, I love Crystal Palace.
- So name one of our players.
- Obviously the Italian one but also we have the striker, the small one, AJ something.
- Yeah, you donít even know that he plays for England.
- So he doesnít play for Palace then?
- This is what I mean, your football knowledge is limited to players you think are cute. You donít look at the ugly ones, like Riihilahti, even when he has the ball.
- Whatís wrong with that, you always watch women tennis as well.
- But thatís different. I just happen to appreciate how good Russian women players are. But your friend Mindy for example, she goes with full make-up on to show herself to the games for maybe to become a footballerís wife one day. (Sudden silence in the whole stadium because the away team scores)
- Damn! Those lucky bastards!
- What happened?
- They just scored.
- But that is nice, Iím happy someone got a goal.
- What are you talking about, we are down, our players are useless!
- Oooh, look at the poor little fellow being all down. (She sees the little boy with the scarf really upset)
- His team, our pride, is losing, of course he is sad.
- Yeah, but we have still tried our best and that one boy got one free kick and everything.
- It has been a disaster!
- We should buy the little boy some candy or something. (Totally uninterested about the score) I got to go to the ladies room. (She leaves)
- But it is almost half time. Actually, just go and Iíll meet you after. (Bit relieved)
(Long after the interval)
- Did I miss anything, I was talking to Mindy? By the way, I think them two there in the second row are back together.
- Itís been great, we just scored and tactically really on top of the game.
- Yeah, Iím so happy (She smiles to the little boy with a scarf as well)
- What time the game finishes. (She asks after quietly doing her fingernails for a long time)
- Around five as always.
- But do we have to watch the whole game again?
- What! It is bad enough that I canít go for pre-game pint anymore and always have to rush for the start. Didnít we agree after all the fights that my only compromise can be that on Mondays Iím not allowed to watch football? We will never ever leave a game before it finishes.
- You and your football. (She sulks away and looks for sympathy from other women on the stands. There isnít many. From the ones there, some are really into the game, some constantly trying just to mirror their boyfriends to please them and some donít care and read a book or something. She relates to the last category)
- Why you even bother coming to the games because you donít like it? (After seeing she is playing angry with him)
- I do like coming. I like the atmosphere and the feelingÖ
- But you donít get the game. And I love my football.
- Alright, I've not one of those girls who like and follow sports, I've always been more into music. So maybe I don't understand it but at least I've made an effort to be with you, part of your hobby. Anyways, why do I always have to come as second?
- I donít really enjoy coming with you. I canít go to the pre-game drink, swear, even follow the game properly with you. We always just end up fighting. WhyÖ (Palace scores in the middle of the sentence. The stadium is heaving and also they start hugging each other really happily forgetting the argument)
(Happy end to the game)
- What a great game! (She is so happy. Not because she really cares how important the win was for the league table but she knows well how much of a difference winning will mean to next few days at home. And for the little boy. She is, though, secretly bit sad for the small player who was tackled from the losing team)
- Yeah, what a great day! Sorry I was bit tense before. (After all, he knows that some women are there for different reasons than he is. Her reason is him and that is as good reason to come to football as any other)
- Thatís ok. I also really enjoyed that the left backs positioning gave freedom to the winger to commit but still kept our back four narrow enough.
- My girl! (He is amazed and proud about her great view)
- So why did the cookie jar wanted to go offside of the brown sauce?