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Takaisin uutisiin

19.10.2005
Don't urinate into your own tent

Why are you pissing into your own tent? I don’t understand your unreasonable negativity. You even pay miserable people hiding behind big tables to overanalyse. Or you with poisonous ink want just scandalous headlines. Most of you just moan in the closest pub. Many of you seem to voluntarily want to put celery into your own food. It’s almost an art how much you English people can criticise your own football national team. It can’t do anything right, can it! It is always surrounded by JFK theories. Or compared to an idea of sticking pins to own eyes. You have doomed it eternally toothless, which I find very harsh especially with English dentistry. Even if you’d have experienced years of false hope and disappointment, which by the way you haven’t, I still don’t understand your reasons wanting to write bad endings already beforehand. I’m not questioning your patriotism or passion, but reminding that mixed passionate reactions to mixed results is a dangerous combination for the best support to your country. Your own expectations and pressure can be your biggest enemy.



Why is it not enough that England is comfortably in the World Cup as a group winner? France is not worried about the points dropped in the qualifiers. Italy is proud of playing the most calculative and boring football in the history just because they qualified like that. Argentineans don’t care who their coach shagged. They are all preparing for the World Cup instead of moaning how short in value could the country’s leading export, football, be. If my country ever qualified to any major tournament I couldn’t care less if it happened playing torturingly horrific and sceptic football surrounded by only luck and scandals in the group full of Andorras. I would just be proud and give all my support for my country. Which I’m sure English people will also do when they realise they actually have a good cards in their hand because…



1. It’s easier to break into Fort Knox than go through England centre defence!

There can’t be much more dominating player in the world than John Terry. Besides Abel Xavier’s hair I have never been scared in football pitch except once going to a heavy challenge with the Chelsea defender. Even if full backs are sometimes bit too adventurous Terry pairing with Sol Campbell or Rio Ferdinand is a great foundation for any successful team.

2. England has great goal scoring midfielders!

Getting more than five goals from midfield is a big step towards the podium. And that is just Frank Lampard. In addition to that, Steven Gerrarld, David Beckham and Joe Cole will always be dangerous which is important in international football where strikers are often effectively being isolated by solid defences.

3. World Cup is like English Christmas madness!

Players in England are used to playing ridiculous fixture lists at carnival times. Tournaments require different kinds of players than mid-European leagues because highly competitive games with high tempo keep on coming much quicker than Royal Mail. Seasons of heavy Boxing Day to New Year fixture lists might finally have a reasonable football benefits and pay off for English players.

4. English kitchen might for the first time got it right!

It’s quite tasty and heavy salad. Enough green desire and hunger, mixed with international experience and spiced up with Rooney.



I’m not saying I’m handing you the trophy here. I’m also bit worried and sceptic, probably because I’ve lived in England for a while now. It is always easier to criticise after all. I can also see reasons why England might fall just bit short of bringing it back home:

1. Pressure and expectations are huge homemade obstacles before you can even start climbing the mountain!

Possibly England’s biggest enemy comes from the promised land of fish and chips, the stiff upper lip itself. English people put too much pressure for their national team for it to function in a healthy and supportive environment. It is almost realmadridised: winning games is not enough, it has to be done with style, entertaining and individuals pulling rabbits out of the hat. If the world championship team Brazil have room for basic role players why can’t they be accepted in England? I have never before seen an honest youngish player with only few caps being booed by his own supporters before he has even touched the ball. Eventually, if everything works inside the lines, press will find some off field scandals to sell papers.

2. Not strong enough striker force.

Take away Rooney’s thunder and there are mainly clouds in the sky for international standards. Many good options is not enough, you need three to four strikers who can change the game with one moment of magic, especially for times when things aren’t going your way. Brazil has ten of them, but there is no transfer window for national team, otherwise Russia would have probably already claimed the title.

3. English mentality is not cynical enough.

English people and football are too passionate and honest. It’s great to watch but it rarely wins you any trophies. At times, you have to be cynical, even boring and see the games off in the traditional Italian way. Instead of freezing the game England always go with full gas taking initiatives until the end, which is admirable and entertaining, but very risky. It is not always about being the better team, sometimes you have to win like Uruguay.

4. There are other world-beaters around

Just look at the team sheets of Brazil, Argentina, France and Italy and you realise whoever wins the World Cup has deserved it. England has the strongest team for a while and will upset a few other giants but odds for going through all the way are high.



I have dreamed about it. I have lived for it. Suddenly you are at your late twenties, another disappointing qualification group behind and you realise the time is running out to fulfil the boyhood park games promises to play in the World Cup. I’ve never thought grass could be greener on the other side of the boarder but I’m so jealous for all the players and countries that have experienced this biggest sports event in the world. Maybe I’ll never be playing there myself but my proudest moment would be to see my home country just reaching the tournament, to be part of it. I think you English people are privileged for that. I envy you. However not being part of it, I also support you. Without ever wanting to piss into your tent.





Aki


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