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16/10-2000
Life sucks?

Odd-Vif 4-0.
This week has been worst ever in my football career. After a bad season I finally thought now it is my turn. I have practised last half year more than ever, concentrated all my power in football. Quited school, work, junk food, all that is in the way. To be top form, these results are a joke. First I do not got any minutes in two national team games, which I have played last three years regularly. Then it is this slaughtery. How is it possible? I see myself back one year. I was strong, scored goals, tackled, didnt give fail passes, I was a winner, I was playing good. Now I should be better form, but I play bad, possition I am not good at, I struggle in everything I was good at, self-confindence is poor. What has happened? I am home after game. Here is nothing waiting for me except the dishes. I feel lonely. But am I? I have some people and press laughing to our poorness. I have some people attacking against me. Some of them even knows that I am a very bad person in ordinary life. I have some close relatives and friends, that are seriously sick. I have some friends complaining that I dont have enough time for them. I have old chicken with rice in the kitchen. I have a lot of false information and bad rumors around. So I am not alone in this one. I sit in the sofa and think all this, about a one second. Then I give a shit to it. Because I know nothing has happened. Because I know we will win Start. I know I have tried hard, tried to do my best every second. Because I know the results will come. Because it is perfection to play football. Because I am enjoying my life. I have lot of good friends. I know I have been honest in every aspect of life. And I know I will be back. I will never give up. Most of all I know life doesnt suck. Life is lovely. On the end you only get what you give. That sounds good to me. And i can always get some new chicken with rice.

This week I recommend
1. Cleaning the appartement
2. Go cart -miniformulaleague
3. Finnish humor
4. Buying stocks

I do not recommend
1. Old chicken with rice
2. Holiday at Athens
3. Complaining

For your eyes only,

Aki



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