Tilbake til nyheter
Me and John Smith
Airport: It is a nice July morning, I arrive to Heathrow. I have to run to check in desk to avoid the fine for being late. On my way I almost hit John Smith, typical englishman, who has on his summer holliday decided to take a trip to Spain.
Airplane: This same normal londoner John Smith sits next to me at the plane. He helps sausages to go down with bottle of red wine. I ask for another bread because it has carbohydrates.
Arrive: At the bus to hotel my new manager tells me that we have running session immediately after arrive. My teams bus is followed by a colorful tourist bus, where the guide tells to a bit drunken John Smith about the orange farm on the left hand side.
Evening: I run with my team two hours, take a shower and eat vegetable based dinner. In the next room John has finished the minibar and he has to go for a walk to have another beer.
Morning: Alarm forces me to breakfast at 7.30. I take some fruits and strech my muscles. After hard workout I return to lunch at the same time that made wakes up John.
Afternoon: I have a compulsory rest. John buys a silly hat and suncream. He goes to beach to enjoy the sun and babes.
Evening: After small sleep I go to training ground again at 6. Sprints, some football and gym. Sun does not give any mercy. I sweat two kilos away. It is already late after dinner. My body feels heavy, sleep comes immediately. Meanwhile John has fallen asleep on the beach. He is a bit sweat because of the heat. He takes few beers and follows a midnight show at the club near by.
Next day: I have the same program. Body feels sore and the heat is terrible. John goes to Aquapark and argues with the local taxidriver.
Next day: Same program, except shorter and harder runs. I am exchausted. Good hard workday again, I get one hour free time at the pool. John burns himself at the pool again. He chats with other english tourists about rubgys future.
Next day: We have shorter morning session and longer sleep at daytime. In the evening we play a game against local busdrivers and gardeners. Pablos All Stars is an easy opponent, 4-0. I miss two good chances to score. I am angry. John drinks tequila whole day at the restaurant in the beach. He meets a girl in nightclub but does not score because after toilet visit he is too drunk to remember which girl it was. John is angry.
Next day: Hard program again. My body is dead. Every single muscle is sore. I have a headache. I take a Meet the parents -movie after dinner. John has a hangover. He feels pain also. He chills out and takes pay tv.
Next day: I need new hamstring muscles. I can hardly move. That does not prevent me training. We get a permission go with team mates to have a dinner and glass of red wine in a fancy restaurant. John needs new sandals and hat. He has lost the silly one. He goes shopping and golfing. He meets a nice polish girl in a fancy restaurant. They share a bottle of red wine.
Next day: Hard training day. I am tired but I feel my fitness level is better. I call home to my mum. John tries to call the polish girl without luck. He feels he can drink more these days.
Next day: We beat Croatian team in a hard game 2-0. I get almost send off after two hard tackles. It is a good game, I am happy. We have a nice and quiet evening with the team. Cant sleep because of the noice next door. John has forgotten the polish girl and goes to safari. It is a good safari. In the evening he gets thrown away from pub after the darts episode. He meets other drunk english people and has after party at his hotel room.
Last day: I am tired and happy to go home. I buy some tax free parfumes. I am stiff as iron and my skin is white as milk. John pays his huge roombill. He is tired and tanned - more red actually. He sents postcards to his friends and work office in Croydon. And buys the full package of tax free alcohol.
Home: I am happily home. Training camp was hard but good and successful. I am in better form although I have lost three kilos. I have also a possible hamstring injury. And one stamp more in my passport. Typical englishman John is home. Drinking is hard, but relaxing. He has got a beer-belly and lost his I love Marbella -shirt. He has also a possible skin cancer. He bragues everyone about his perfect holliday.
This week I recommend:
2. Meet the parents -movie
3. Hard pre season training camp
I do not recommend:
1. Gardeners or busdrivers
2. I love Marbella -shirts
3. Training in over 30 degrees.
Marbella is something for everyone,
ps. Typical englishman John Smith is totally imaginery person. Every similarities with real life are only results of Your imagination.